


The Devil's Foe

by Antarctic_Echoes



Series: Luciferian Fics (One shots) [40]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: 100 word drabbles, F/M, Goats, Humor, Some goats can be evil, The Double Decker Drabble Fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 01:58:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12159282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctic_Echoes/pseuds/Antarctic_Echoes
Summary: At the precinct, Lucifer faces his most fearsome foe -- an ornery goat.  Sequel to “Lucifer and the Goats.”  9 chapter drabble!





	1. Intruder in the Precinct

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Grym](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grym/gifts), [WellxWisher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WellxWisher/gifts), [skaoi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skaoi/gifts), [moonatoms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonatoms/gifts), [theleafpile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theleafpile/gifts).



> This is for WellxWisher and Grym, both of whom wanted to see more of the goats -- or at least the ornery one. Thank you so much for the idea!! XD!!
> 
> Also thank you to skaoi, moonatoms, theleafpile, and Grym for the prompts! You all rock!!
> 
> This drabble-y fic has not been beta-ed, so I apologize for all mistakes.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker, Dan Espinoza, and Amenadiel are owned by Vertigo Comics, DC Comics, Neil Gaiman, Mike Carey, and everyone else involved with the Lucifer TV show and comic books. I own nothing and make no money on this. I merely am borrowing the characters for... uh... writing practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this chapter: Dan stared...what the f***? by skaoi! Thank you, you are awesome! (Sorry, it's rated Teen so... censored. XD)

 

 

Dan stared...what the f***?  There was a goat sitting on the chair at his desk.  And not just any goat -- the ornery, bad-tempered dude that headbutted him the other day!  Dammit, he still had the bruises!  Frowning, he glanced around to see if anyone else had noticed the animal.  Nope.  All the officers just went about their business, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to have a billy goat sitting at his desk.  It turned to stare piercingly at him with its rectangular pupils, then scrambled off the chair and slowly walked away.

 


	2. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt for this chapter: Lucifer screamed when he saw....

 

 

Lucifer screamed when he saw the goat sitting on his chair by Chloe’s desk.  Bloody hell, it was the bad-tempered creature that had bitten him!  What was it doing here?

“Oh, no.  No, no, no.  You foul creature, you have to leave.”

The goat calmly looked at him, then ripped the covering off of the chair and ate it.

Defiant creature!

“Must I move you myself?”  The Devil started to walk toward the animal when it sprung off the chair and approached him, its horns lowered threateningly.  

Oh no....

“Stay back!” he yelled as it suddenly lunged at him.

 


	3. Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this chapter: Lucifer screamed like a girl.

 

 

Lucifer screamed like a girl as he turned to flee, but it was too late.  The goat grabbed the seat of his very expensive trousers and yanked.  The sound of ripping material filled the air as he fell.  Sharp teeth scraped against his butt cheeks as the dastardly creature tore off his boxer shorts.  Falling to the floor, he whirled around to glare at the goat, who calmly ate the material.  Slowly standing as he covered his backside with his hands, Lucifer let his eyes gleam red at the animal.  The goat blinked at him and, lowering his head, charged.

 


	4. Seeking Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this chapter: Dan screamed like a girl.

 

 

“Bloody hell!”

Lucifer did the only thing he could think of -- he ran for his life into the bullpen, with the goat close behind.  Catching sight of Daniel, he ran straight toward him. Surely the douche could help him!

“Oh hell no --” Dan cried as Lucifer grabbed him and used him as a shield.  “Dammit Lucifer, let me go!”

“Do something!” the Devil yelled.  “Help me!”  

Just at that moment, the rabid animal ran full tilt into the man with its head down.  As the goat’s horns made contact with his behind, Dan screamed like a girl.

 


	5. Trapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this chapter: "If I could, I would," by theleafpile! Thank you, you are awesome!

 

 

“If I could, I would!”  Dan yelled a few seconds later as he and Lucifer huddled for safety on top of a desk.

The goat circled the desk, eyeing them as it bleated in a mocking manner.  The Devil shook his head.  Imagine, being driven onto a desk and into the douche’s arms in order to escape the angry creature!  It was absolutely humiliating.

“Can you shoot it?” he asked.

“Dude, shoot a _goat?”_

“But it’s an evil goat!  You have every right!”

“That’s overkill.  I’ll think of something else.”

Lucifer gritted his teeth.  “Well, hurry.”

 


	6. Betrayed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this chapter: "Lucifer, close your eyes now," by skaoi! Thank you, you rock!

 

 

“Lucifer, close your eyes now,” Dan said.  “I have an idea.”

The Devil looked at him like he was crazy.  “Close my eyes?   _Now?”_

“Yes!  Just do it.”

“Very well.”  Lucifer closed his eyes, wondering what plan Dan had to get rid of the goat that required him closing his eyes.  He heard the man scramble off the table, then... silence.  He waited a second... two.  Nothing.

“Daniel?” he tentatively called out.

“What are you doing?”

Lucifer’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Chloe’s voice.  Dan was nowhere to be seen -- the coward had abandoned him.

 


	7. Bad News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this chapter: “You have to leave, Detective,” by Grym! Thank you, you are awesome!

 

 

“You have to leave, Detective.  Save yourself!”  Lucifer pointed a shaking finger at the goat.  “It has nefarious plans, I can see it in its eyes!”

Chloe rolled her eyes.  “Oh for crying out loud!  He’s a _goat._  He doesn’t have any plans to conquer the world or anything like that.”

“I beg to differ.”  For a moment he paused as he climbed off the desk.  “What is that wicked creature doing here, anyway?”

“He was adopted as the mascot of the precinct.”  

Lucifer’s mouth fell open.  “Adopted...?”

“Yes.  He’s now part of the LAPD family.”

 


	8. Michael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this chapter: “This is really not good!” by moonatoms. Thank you, you are wonderful!

 

 

 

“This is really not good!” Lucifer cried.  “You mean I have to work with it?!”  

The goat glared with evil intent.  

The Devil jumped back and tried to fend it off with a chair.  “Stay back, you disgusting beast from Hell!  Well, not Hell.  Hell has nothing as foul as you, but --”

“Lucifer, stop being silly.”  Chloe approached the goat.  

“Careful, Detective!  The creature’s vicious!”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”  She scratched its head.  The ninny bleated happily and rubbed against her.  “Michael's sweet.”

“Michael?!”  Of _course_ the goat would be named after his self-righteous prick of a brother....

 


	9. Mortified

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this chapter: “I have never been so," by theleafpile. Thank you, you rock!

 

 

“I have never been so mortified in all my life,” Lucifer said later as he rubbed his poor rear end.  “Imagine being attacked by a wretched goat named _Mike.”_

Amenadiel snickered as he lounged on Lucifer’s couch.  “Well, it could be worse.  You could be partnered up with him.”

The Devil sniffed indignantly.  “I would quit.”

The angel laughed.  “And miss working with Chloe?  I doubt it.”

Lucifer frowned as heat tinged his cheeks.  Was he that transparent?  “Well, the detective assured me that I’ll never have to see that wretched creature again.”

Amenadiel chuckled.  “Never say never...."

 


End file.
